One Memory of Shopping

I waked up around afternoon and I couldn’t remember when and how I went to sleep? I didn’t want to remember any thing. Ah! Just by saying it, all those old memories and thoughts moved back to my mind. I tried to ignore them but it was impossible and as far as I tried harder they became stronger in my mind. I took a deep breath because helps me to become a little bit calm. I thought: Let’s see what’s really going on in my head. Directly after I was curious abut it, there was a silent in my head and didn’t seem scary at all. How could I scare sometime from that little thing like that? Until four years ago I believed “life is complicated with a lot of mystery” and I was talking and thinking and even writing about them, but time pasted fast and I found out “nothing is worth it in life and we shouldn’t be that harsh to ourselves, it is better to take it easy and forget about all mystery shits”. Then opposite thing happened whole those facts that I was telling and searching just started to show up. Most of them were scary and the problem was “I didn’t even know why”.
I left the bed and I thought, “Is better to go and wash my face” ... In the bathroom I opened the valve and directly something else came to my mind that scared me to look at the mirror. I couldn’t figure it out that how that's happen. “God! What’s wrong with me” it was morning and my day just started. I knew I shouldn’t follow the thought and slowly looked up and saw myself in mirror with puffy eyes and dark skin and nothing scary. Yesterday, I was walking in a Public Park near my apartment and I forgot to put some sun killer and whole my face turned to dark color “look like Indian”. I thought that I could be Indian for a week I didn’t mind. I even could telling people “I’m Indian and start making conversation with whole my new Indian personality, just kidding” -these days most people in international life don’t care where they born or live except those people who never left their country and believe themselves too much without seeing real life and they think they are selected to be governor for whole world- Anyway I washed my Indian face and eat fast breakfast and ready to go shopping.
I was seating in the train on my way to Mall near the window and watching outside view, which was passing faster than train. There was a man end of wagon and he was carrying a baby not carefully -I hate to see this lazy acting with kids- I was staring at them and couldn’t take off my eyes from that baby. I was afraid that man would hit baby’s head to one of the train chairs. But every thing went safely and man finally found a place to seat. I was looking back to window and staring the beautiful view of outside …
After a hour and half window-shopping, I found a acceptable hat and tried on for many times. Every thing was good with hat except the color and sides. One of seller came to me and I knew he was gonna talk to me and push me indirectly to buy something. I wasn’t in the mood enough. He came closer and said: do you like the hat?
Me: Kind of … but I prefer the one with three small silver coins in each side … I saw it in Internet but I can’t find it in your shop …
Him: We have some catalogs from whole products … can you show it to me?
Me: Sure!
And he went to bring the catalog and mean while I picked more hats and tried them on …
Him: This is the catalog and I think you mean this one
Me: Yes! That’s right … by any chance do you have it in brown.
Him: There is in brown but we don’t have it in this shop …
Me: Ok, I think I will check your second branch shop in next street.
Him: Sure! If you like I can even ask them through the phone…
Me: That would be nice … (I hate this kind of fake smiley conversation, probably behind that smile and after long hour stand up for customer he tells himself “damn stupid hat guy”)
Him: Then one-moment pleas …
I liked the hat … should I pay 250 $ for a hat or not? … I pushed myself to stop thinking about it and accepted the fact that “as long as buying it makes me feel good that will be fine”.
Him: Unfortunately they don’t have it either; there is a possibility that we can bring it here from our main shop. It takes like a week and you should pay a least 20 percent of price now. Do you like to do it?
Me: No! Thank you, I prefer to order from Internet as long as I know what size is good for me
Then he measured my size including some routine shopping conversation and I left that place as soon as I had the size.
“Oh God! Some moment in life so annoying” … We both acted for 30 minute -I don’t know “when ever I want to buy something a little expensive automatically I turn to a polite person with exaggerate English accent”- I remember one time with Mehdi Jangi in Japan I went to the store to buy a wallet. And I knew that Mehdi hate faking things. So I was myself and asked one of staff: “Can I see that wallet?” And she putted a pair of white glove look like a surgeon and carefully picked the wallet and she asked me also to put gloves as well. I said: “I want to touch it with naked hand and feel it”. Then Mehdi started laughing and the moment was broken. That girl (staff) became red and shaky. Anyway I didn’t buy anything and took the train back to home …
I opened my apartment door and all that talking bullshit and scary image came back to me … I took bottle of milk from fridge and selected one of magazine and walked to my bedroom. I looked at my bed with white sheets and asked myself: “when did I realize that I don’t like this bed anymore”. I laid down on bed and putted the bottle on the table and started to read the magazine. After a minute, the memories of past life were coming back again slowly, one by one …

Written by Mohammad Hosseini