Release ...

I think first time I saw her in supermarket near my home when I was buying a bottle of milk. She was at least ten years elder and completely grown up and I was just a high school boy with a lot of energy and dreams. I didn’t know why I felt close to her and I never had that kind of instinct feeling to somebody else before. She lived two blocks away from my family house and I randomly was seeing her in street after school. One day I decided to follow her to see where exactly she is living and after that every time I had a chance I went to seat front of her house to see her again and again. I think most of my dream at that time was about her and usually ended up w-dream. I didn’t know that I should be sorry for myself or that kind of feeling was natural but I knew it was different I couldn’t say it was love because there was not emotional pain, love heart beating or pumping blood in vessel but it was totally human instinct. One time I follow her to shop and I get completely close to her and I never felt alive like that before I strongly wanted to hug her. My muscles condensed and my mind stopped working and I didn’t know what was inside her that absorbed me that much. My behavior was continuing same way and after several months she started to see me as well. She almost knew that I was following her and seating front of her house and having big problem about her. I didn’t know why I didn’t want to have any social or logic contact with her I mean I didn’t want to talk to her or know about her I just wanted to be with her in same place without any conversation or sharing information. One time when I was seating front of her house I saw her behind the window, she was watching me and her eyes were considering something as well. We had eye contact for almost two minutes and then she closed the curtains. Since that day she was coming out of her house more often and in the shop she was getting closer to me as well. I could see there was something between us but I didn’t know what exactly was it and I hoped probably she knew about it. The time went fast and we started to truth each other more and more and got closer to each other physically. One time happened we went to neighbor-park and seated on the same chair for an hour without talking only thing I could hear, was beating of my scared-heart and then I tried to put my hand near her and when I looked at her she was doing same. Finally our day came and one day her family left the house and she knew I was seating outside and she came to the back yard door and opened the door and looked at me and left the door open and went back inside. I started walking to her house and when I was in her back yard she was inside the living room and looked at me. I went to living room and saw her seating on the sofa ….

I run out from her house I think I was in her house for two hours we didn’t talk but we did a lot of things without even look at each other eyes. Those things were strange and when I left her house I started crying I didn’t know I was happy or upset but I knew something happen to me that never happen before. I cried whole way to home, I felt release and lively. I never went to see her again actually I never felt to see her again either. I had my time and probably she had it too and we never found out what was that feel between us and even we never talked about it but both of us knew that fact. I saw her randomly in street sometime we smiled to each other, there were nothing to shame or embarrass and in other hand both of us knew there were nothing to go forward either.

Short Journey

This year summer is showing up the new power of being hot. I can’t believe how hot was back home in last two weeks. I couldn’t even think about going out and enjoying the city attraction. Anyway, after spending two weeks in one of hottest spot in the world and absorbed tons of shining energy from sun, I came back Sweden. I think I never gonna try Iranian summer again; I almost lost some part of my body in that heat. Most interesting part of this trip was my family and because of sun and summer holiday we were hanging out whole day long. I learned something new that I never learned before. I always though my brothers and my sisters are completely different and each of us has really unique personality but after five years separation and living with many strangers now I can strongly say that my family members are really similar only with few different which mostly is physically, not personality. They had same thinking structure as I do and they react against every look like I do. Even each of us has different life style and dream but that doesn’t mean we are different. I can totally say, we are same but in various situation. For example, my younger brother is me if I was decided to become a house constructor. He never wants to continue his study and he always want it to be a working constructor and he became one of them and he dose it good and he likes it. I remember when I was younger we rebuild our house and every body in family worked together and in that time I was so upset of my working and even I worked much better than others but I knew that job was not mine. Now I’m working in university that I like it most and my brother works with small company and both of us do our job in same way and even fight for our life in same way. I think having same life background is really important for each person and makes big different from other. So if you want to know who is exactly look like you then try to see who was living exact situation that you did.