I was discussing a subject (what dose "being nice to people" mean?) with a Swedish friend who is a psychotropic in Lund city. He mentioned that he was seeing a patient who had a problem for being nice to people. After many many negotiations they came up with this conclusion that he should be more aggressive some time and after a year this person became completely successful in his privet and his social life specially with dating girl and doing his job. I think for all males the job and relationship are two most important things in their life and sometime they should be more active and tight about their action against others to keep things go through perfectly. I remember that one night I was in a dance club a new place that I never was before and I just wanted to be in a crowd area with loud music to forget about my problem for a moment. I’m usually nice with people not too nice but nice enough but that day I wasn’t myself and I was all about forgetting the life pressure. I was standing in the corner of bar and watching people who were dancing and shaking. In the middle of night, club became so crowded and there was no place to stand up easily without pushing people. A group of four girls and two boys were making a lot of noise and move near me. It happened one of the girl lost her control and almost fall down on me and I was pointing her out and said: “Take it easy, what is wrong with you, why you are pushing it so hard crazy b...” and some other things which I don’t want to mention them now. One of other girls started talking behalf of her and after while, many words were interchanged and their group moved to other side of bar and when there were leaving I just found out that girl is kind of cute and on shape. Anyway I was on my bad mud and I did same to some other people too. After while when time passed to the midnight, near 3pm, I went to bar to order one more drink to call it night. I was waiting next some guys for ordering that I saw the same jumpy girl next to me and she was acting like a kitty and who is looking up to me. I told her what do you want and she said nothing. My term came to order and I asked for my usual drink and before I prepare to pay it the girl came closer and said: “do you mind that I take it for you?” …. !! .... It never happened to me before and I didn’t know what should I say and just asked her why? She said: for saying sorry about the thing just did while ago and then we started talking and one goes to another we were seeing each other for 2 months until every things were fall apart like most normal relations. But it came a time that I asked her a month after we were dating that what was happened in that night we met for a first time and why did you actually come to me? She said: because nobody talked to me that way for long time and most the time people are too nice to me and it’s boring. I just want it to experience something new and apparently you are the same person look like whole other nice people that I dated before only you were different for one night and that was our first night. Probably that was a same key for breaking up after two months dating. So is this system working with every girls or just group of them? Should we be more active, a little more offensive and masculine? If it is true then we will go back to my old vision of social fact that “being nice means living for others and ignoring your needs”. This fact makes security life for others and puts pressure and extra energy on you and when you share your life with somebody else they need you to be like a person who can make their life secure not design it completely for other people life and they need to be sure that you have the basic potential for fighting things trough in their life and live for them more others and be hero in some moments of life.
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