being alive is not the living

چند وقتی بود که می خواستم به زبان خودمون مطلب بنویسم اما از بس روی این کیبورد سوئدی با ماژیک سیدی فارسی تایپ کردم بعد پاک شد که منصرف شدم بدترین قسمت اون این بود که وقتی شروع به تایپ می کردم اثر ات ماژیک تا شب روی دستم باقی می ماند و اصلا نمی رفت گویا ماژیک روی دست بیشتر می ماند تا روی صفحه کیبورد ...

این روزها زمان سریع می گذرد و من ته دلم مدام دلهره است دلهره ای که نه می شود گفت زیبا نه می شود گفت بد . یاد قدیم وآرزوهای کوچکیمان می افتم آدم هرچی بیشتر بزرگ می شود جدیترو منطقی تر هم می شود تا به جای می رسد که حتی قدرت آرزو کردن هم ندارد برای همین الان تا می خواهم به آرزوی جدیدی فکر کنم تمام مشکلات و مسائل روزمره سراقم می آید و می بینم که کلی کارهای نیمه تمام و وظایف انجام نشده دروبرم ریخته که باید به آنها برسم به نظر من تنها آرزوی که الان می شود کرد با این همه مشغله این است که فرصتی برای آرزو کردن پیش بیاید یعنی آرزو کنم که دوباره بتوانم مثل بچگی آرزو کنم ...

آدمها بزرگ می شوند اما نه واقعا و نه با همان رشدی که از دوران کودکی آغاز کرده بودند آنها کم کم یاد می گیرند که جسور نباشند شجاع نباشند و سعی کنند هرچی می توانند زندگی را ثابت و منظم کنند به غول معروم سرعت زندگی را بگیرند و در کنار آن یک گوشه تا آخر عمر با خوبی خوشی زندگی کنند درست مثل تمام آخر داستانهای مادر بزرگها .. اما خیلی خنده دار است که تمام آن داستانها با خوبی و خوشی تمام می شد اما هیچ وقت به ما یاد ندادند که به خوبی و خوشی تا آخر عمر زندگی کردن یعنی چه .. مثلا قصه سیندرلا بعد از اینکه انها بلاخره به هم رسیدند تازه اول مشکلات مشترکشان است مخصوصا که همدیگر را هم به خوبی نمی شناختند وتازه دفعه دوم بود که همدیگر را دیده بودند خلاصه مگه چند روز می توانم توی همان فضای دوست داشتن و عاشق بودن زندگی کرد بلاخره اختلافها بیرون می آید بلاخره بچه ها به دنیا می ایند و زمان هزار جور پستی بلندی در مسیر راه آنها قرار می دهد و تا به خودشان می آیند می بینند درگیر یکسری مسائل روزمره زندگی شده اند که یا روزمرگی آنها را آزار می دهد یا مشکلات همراه با ان .. همیشه دلم می خواست بدانم که سیندرلا ده یا بیست سال بعد از زندگی مشترک چه روزه گاری خواهد داشت .. شما چه فکر می کنید ...

گویا خیلی وقته فارسی تایپ نردم خواشحالی فارسی تایپ ردن اینقدر زیاده که هرچی به ذهنم می آید می نویسم بدون اینکه بهش فکر کنم و یا جهتی به نوشته ها بدهم ...

برگردیم سر روزمرگی خودمان ببینیم که امورز چه چیزی از درون بیرون می اید و روی کاغذ ثبت می شود ...

کودکی را دوست دارم وبزرگ شدن را بیشتر دوست دارم اما بزرگ بودن را دوست ندارم اشکال کار اینجاست ...

تمام هیجانات زندگی برای این است که روزی بتوانی با آسایش در گوشه ای زندگی کنی پس بیایید با آسایش همین الان در گوشه ای از زندگی زندگی کنیم و هیجانات را بسپاریم بدست آینده ...

چیزی از زندگی نمی خواهم مگر سادگی و ولی گویا همین سادگی گرانترین چیزی است که می توانی به آن برسی ...

همیشه زود گم می شوم ولی مدتها طول می کشد تا خود را پیدا کنم ...

قدم اول مهمترین قدم زندگی است شاید برای همین است که مدتهای زیادی در همین قدم اول زندگی باقی مانده ام ...

این روزها از پشتکار , خلافقیت , تکاپو و هدفمند بودن تنها تعریفی در ذهن من باقی مانده است . . .

به اندازه توانائی هایم تلاش نمی کنم و این مرا آزار می دهد ...

سه اصل مهم زنده بودن , زندگی کردن و اگاهی از دو اصل اول ..

زندگی سخت است زندگی آسان است زندگی هیچ چیز نیست زندگی زیباست زندگی پیچیده است زندگی ساده و آرام است زندگی جریان دارد زندگی چون دیوار بلندی است زندگی رابطه من و تو است زندگی تنهای جاودانه است زندگی مرز خواب و بیداری است زندگی نفس کشیدن لحظه به لحظه ماست زندگی آواز زیبای پرنده است زندگی شکار کردن برای زنده ماندن است زندگی صلح است زندگی مبارزه هروزه است زندگی نتیجه آفرینش است زندگی بهره بردن از خلقت است زندگی سکون است زندگی دست و پا زدن ودر مشلاکت روزمره است زندگی امید است زندگی پذیرفتن و دنباله رفتن است زندگی با مرگ پیایان می یابد زندگی با مرگ معنی پیدا می کند زندگی تولد است زندگی تولد می یابد زندگی مال همه موجودات زنده است زندگی همیشه شامل معدودی از انسانها می شود ... من زندگی میکنم .. من زندگی نمی کنم ... من اصلا نمی دانم زندگی کردن یعنی چه ... من زندگی کردن را خوب فهمیده ام ... من زندگی را هیگاه ندیده ام .. من با زندگی زندگی کرده ام ... و ....

Why she is look like a boy?

Every country has some unwritten social rules that you should indirectly deal with them. One of most important thing in modern life is starting relationship. Based on the history, culture, social economy, life style and many other things of each country, the relation between two couple has different faces. In the modern society with good economy, women have more influence than old fashion one and that makes the rules of partnership more complicated and confuse. I think each gender should keep its own characters, men should be more masculine and women should be more feminine. So as much as seeing a straight boy in ladies cloth with make up is embarrassing and unexpected, seeing girls with men personality and character are not enjoyable either. These days if you walk through the street and see most women are so busy with their career and mostly they forget even they are women especially they work hard as much as male people and they live like them and even they talk and dress like them. I think this is not attractive at all. Every thing is missed up, so this days you go in the public places and see group of people but most of group are some girls together or some boys together and there are many rules for getting close to each other. Most girls who are independent in their social life they want something especial even in their partnership they want very masculine men with strong personality, good looking, successful job and unique so they start to reject every men who has not one of those things and after while you can see many single men in each community that never happen to be in real relationship to a least learn something about it. In other hand easy life style in modern country, which everything is prepared for men, don’t let them to have enough experience for solving social problem, fighting, hunting, being hero or protecting family. The number of these inexperienced men increase every year and after while you can see many young and middle age men, with no partnership in their life and no confidence, are hanging out with each other every weekend night. In other hand a lot of single women with some unrealistic dream hanging out other side of life. Both of them waste most perfect time of their life for searching something that doesn’t exist. I think some part of life is natural we can’t do anything about it such as eating, sleeping, communicating, etc. So every thing should goes as the way it is, we can’t make new rules for some part of nature. I think some of these behaviors are against the nature of human being and by destroying them we make life more complicated and more difficult to live in it. So its better women act, dress, talk, walk more feminine as well as men do it opposite for going everything in natural way.

Is it true that we should always be nice to others?

I was discussing a subject (what dose "being nice to people" mean?) with a Swedish friend who is a psychotropic in Lund city. He mentioned that he was seeing a patient who had a problem for being nice to people. After many many negotiations they came up with this conclusion that he should be more aggressive some time and after a year this person became completely successful in his privet and his social life specially with dating girl and doing his job. I think for all males the job and relationship are two most important things in their life and sometime they should be more active and tight about their action against others to keep things go through perfectly. I remember that one night I was in a dance club a new place that I never was before and I just wanted to be in a crowd area with loud music to forget about my problem for a moment. I’m usually nice with people not too nice but nice enough but that day I wasn’t myself and I was all about forgetting the life pressure. I was standing in the corner of bar and watching people who were dancing and shaking. In the middle of night, club became so crowded and there was no place to stand up easily without pushing people. A group of four girls and two boys were making a lot of noise and move near me. It happened one of the girl lost her control and almost fall down on me and I was pointing her out and said: “Take it easy, what is wrong with you, why you are pushing it so hard crazy b...” and some other things which I don’t want to mention them now. One of other girls started talking behalf of her and after while, many words were interchanged and their group moved to other side of bar and when there were leaving I just found out that girl is kind of cute and on shape. Anyway I was on my bad mud and I did same to some other people too. After while when time passed to the midnight, near 3pm, I went to bar to order one more drink to call it night. I was waiting next some guys for ordering that I saw the same jumpy girl next to me and she was acting like a kitty and who is looking up to me. I told her what do you want and she said nothing. My term came to order and I asked for my usual drink and before I prepare to pay it the girl came closer and said: “do you mind that I take it for you?” …. !! .... It never happened to me before and I didn’t know what should I say and just asked her why? She said: for saying sorry about the thing just did while ago and then we started talking and one goes to another we were seeing each other for 2 months until every things were fall apart like most normal relations. But it came a time that I asked her a month after we were dating that what was happened in that night we met for a first time and why did you actually come to me? She said: because nobody talked to me that way for long time and most the time people are too nice to me and it’s boring. I just want it to experience something new and apparently you are the same person look like whole other nice people that I dated before only you were different for one night and that was our first night. Probably that was a same key for breaking up after two months dating. So is this system working with every girls or just group of them? Should we be more active, a little more offensive and masculine? If it is true then we will go back to my old vision of social fact that “being nice means living for others and ignoring your needs”. This fact makes security life for others and puts pressure and extra energy on you and when you share your life with somebody else they need you to be like a person who can make their life secure not design it completely for other people life and they need to be sure that you have the basic potential for fighting things trough in their life and live for them more others and be hero in some moments of life.

The life has many faces

I think life never get completed and there will be always something to bother you. Losing hope is not good in those bothering moment because by accepting the fact that hope is not alive any more you will invite worst things in your life and believe me life has much more worst faces than we ever have seen before. There is always an answer for each problem in our life and the border between a happy life and hell is only thin layer of accident. If we feel we’re not satisfy it’s better to find the answer of problem. Most things in real life become part of our life when we’re trying enough and going right direction and not expecting that much. Seems a tricky deal! I don’t know I always had more than I wanted and I never had those things I asked for it whole my life. I try really hard and I got close to them and when stopped trying then I lost them again. So should I stop trying then probably I will get them any way or should I increase trying to have them by spending a lot of time and energy to keep them. Life is simple as we see it, and complicated as we want it. There is nothing free for anybody and if you have them that because somebody putted a lot of hard work to prepare it for you or you did on your own and if you don’t have them that means you have long way to go in a road with unclear destination. And there will be always some questions with you that makes you keep going or stop walking such as, is worth it whole those trouble to get such a success, is there any guarantee to keep them when we have them, Do I actually will have them, Do I will be happy with them, and how far I can go with it?
Did you know this fact that life is reaction not action? I think that’s true life is reaction and it waits and looks at our actions and then reacts based on whole other parts. Many things are involve in this reaction like; when, where, with whom, how and why we are doing such those things we usually do? These questions lead us to the fact that a long as we have good knowledge of our life and our surrounded life we will choose our actions and by that we will choose the life reaction. In other hand having whole knowledge of life is impossible sometimes when we think that we are doing it really good actually we are petty far from our wanted conclusions or should I say real facts. At the end I want to say shortly, be proud but not too much, let’s try hard and not expect high, learn more about things that you’re using them most, go as far as you can for knowing inside as well as outside, find relation between different parts of life, make free your emotion in logical boxes, do your best action and trust the reaction of life and lay down sometimes on the pressure of life and just look at nature to see how it works.

Academic Job

There is a list of some familiar website to search about academic job for those people who are hunting international research position, good luck with that ….

http://www.tedjob.com

http://www.phds.org

http://www.jobs.ac.uk

http://www.newscientistjobs.com

http://www.getscholarship.net

http://www.academicjobseu.com

http://engineering.academickeys.com

http://careers.physicstoday.org

http://www.postdoctorate.net

http://www.thesciencejobs.com

http://www.euron.org

http://ec.europa.eu

http://tiptop.iop.org

http://www.postdocjobs.com

http://www.postdoc.com

http://www.findapostdoc.com

http://www.nationalpostdoc.org

http://www.nationalacademies.org

http://www.nationalpostdoc.org

http://www.jobster.com

http://www.post-doc.net

http://www.careerjet.com

http://careers.biospace.com

http://www.eurosys.org

http://www.career.edu

http://www.earthworks-jobs.com

http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org

What the judgmental look is about?

Last week when I was home and I was talking to my brother which I saw him after four years our conversation ended up with this sentences that he told me “when you are walking on street and somebody is staring at you that means there is something inside you that he/she feels lack of it in himself/herself and when he/she is reacting hard about it such as he/she starts wounding your feeling or mocking your act that means they still didn’t accept their weakness and believe your power” I think it is so weak if we try to get point by making other people look bad. Even every body thinks they already know this fact but it happens in their life they do something stupid to present themselves with price of making others upset or look bad. Being grown up and act like one is difficult thing to do and even most people think they are when time comes they never act like it. Many years ago I was reading an article about human social behavior and I saw this sentence, “everybody stop growing mentally and socially in one age of their life that means some people were always act like 13 years old person and some grow elder like 20 years old or more and few people actually grow up exact same age as they are”. So even we can see in our society most people act like a child, talk, live and even make decision that way. In conclusion if you see somebody is doing something wrong or even talking nonsense you should put it in his/her childhood behavior and try to understand his/her source of action as an adult because two child can be friend as easiest as become enemy and it is our responsibility to lead them for friendship and show them true way but we shouldn’t forget to act like adult not a child … most people are not that bad but a lot of them they don’t grow up enough to know those things that they are doing are wrong …

Release ...

I think first time I saw her in supermarket near my home when I was buying a bottle of milk. She was at least ten years elder and completely grown up and I was just a high school boy with a lot of energy and dreams. I didn’t know why I felt close to her and I never had that kind of instinct feeling to somebody else before. She lived two blocks away from my family house and I randomly was seeing her in street after school. One day I decided to follow her to see where exactly she is living and after that every time I had a chance I went to seat front of her house to see her again and again. I think most of my dream at that time was about her and usually ended up w-dream. I didn’t know that I should be sorry for myself or that kind of feeling was natural but I knew it was different I couldn’t say it was love because there was not emotional pain, love heart beating or pumping blood in vessel but it was totally human instinct. One time I follow her to shop and I get completely close to her and I never felt alive like that before I strongly wanted to hug her. My muscles condensed and my mind stopped working and I didn’t know what was inside her that absorbed me that much. My behavior was continuing same way and after several months she started to see me as well. She almost knew that I was following her and seating front of her house and having big problem about her. I didn’t know why I didn’t want to have any social or logic contact with her I mean I didn’t want to talk to her or know about her I just wanted to be with her in same place without any conversation or sharing information. One time when I was seating front of her house I saw her behind the window, she was watching me and her eyes were considering something as well. We had eye contact for almost two minutes and then she closed the curtains. Since that day she was coming out of her house more often and in the shop she was getting closer to me as well. I could see there was something between us but I didn’t know what exactly was it and I hoped probably she knew about it. The time went fast and we started to truth each other more and more and got closer to each other physically. One time happened we went to neighbor-park and seated on the same chair for an hour without talking only thing I could hear, was beating of my scared-heart and then I tried to put my hand near her and when I looked at her she was doing same. Finally our day came and one day her family left the house and she knew I was seating outside and she came to the back yard door and opened the door and looked at me and left the door open and went back inside. I started walking to her house and when I was in her back yard she was inside the living room and looked at me. I went to living room and saw her seating on the sofa ….

I run out from her house I think I was in her house for two hours we didn’t talk but we did a lot of things without even look at each other eyes. Those things were strange and when I left her house I started crying I didn’t know I was happy or upset but I knew something happen to me that never happen before. I cried whole way to home, I felt release and lively. I never went to see her again actually I never felt to see her again either. I had my time and probably she had it too and we never found out what was that feel between us and even we never talked about it but both of us knew that fact. I saw her randomly in street sometime we smiled to each other, there were nothing to shame or embarrass and in other hand both of us knew there were nothing to go forward either.

Short Journey

This year summer is showing up the new power of being hot. I can’t believe how hot was back home in last two weeks. I couldn’t even think about going out and enjoying the city attraction. Anyway, after spending two weeks in one of hottest spot in the world and absorbed tons of shining energy from sun, I came back Sweden. I think I never gonna try Iranian summer again; I almost lost some part of my body in that heat. Most interesting part of this trip was my family and because of sun and summer holiday we were hanging out whole day long. I learned something new that I never learned before. I always though my brothers and my sisters are completely different and each of us has really unique personality but after five years separation and living with many strangers now I can strongly say that my family members are really similar only with few different which mostly is physically, not personality. They had same thinking structure as I do and they react against every look like I do. Even each of us has different life style and dream but that doesn’t mean we are different. I can totally say, we are same but in various situation. For example, my younger brother is me if I was decided to become a house constructor. He never wants to continue his study and he always want it to be a working constructor and he became one of them and he dose it good and he likes it. I remember when I was younger we rebuild our house and every body in family worked together and in that time I was so upset of my working and even I worked much better than others but I knew that job was not mine. Now I’m working in university that I like it most and my brother works with small company and both of us do our job in same way and even fight for our life in same way. I think having same life background is really important for each person and makes big different from other. So if you want to know who is exactly look like you then try to see who was living exact situation that you did.

Rainy Girl

I look out side every morning to see her again. She always wears same style, pink scarf, gray coat and skirt, white shirt and shoes. I don’t know she has many same clothes or she just has one set of clothe. I like her when she is biting her breakfast in the corner of bus station and looking periodically to see if is bus coming or not. Today is cloudy and windy and I’m petty much sure that rain will be coming any moment soon. I put some milk on the top of my breakfast-serial and start eating it behind the window. Now I can see her from far away. She is coming to bus station on time every day and she has her breakfast in her hand. Suddenly weather becomes rainy and every body in street runs for a roof to keep it dry, except her. She doesn’t even change her step faster. She opens her arms and looks to the sky, seems she is hugging the rain. I think it is first time I see her smiling. She stays a little bit and rotates on her foot then stops. Her look becomes serious again and she starts walking to the station again. Under the roof of bus station she is eating her breakfast. I look at her, I never see somebody who eats freely in that crowed station without even look at other people reaction. We finish our meal in same time. I wear my pants and come back to the window to see her. She walks back under the rain again and every body starts staring at her. She looks up to see the sky and in the corner of her eyes she sees me behind the windows in third floor. Our eyes get direct contact for a moment and then she looks other way and closes her eyes face to face with the rain. Bus comes and people are rushing to it but she still standing under the rain and when last person get in the bus then she walks inside the bus. She stands behind the door and when the door is closed and bus moves to go she looks at me and covers her face with pink scarf except her eyes and then she shakes her hand as a goodbye sign and winks.

written by Mohammad Hosseini

Playing Game

Being confused in partnership is most difficult part of any relation and takes a lot of time to get read of it and most the times is including “playing game” between two persons. We should remember when we start to handle a game in the relationship that means something big is missing. The game is mostly happened between two people who just met and they are not sure about each other situations. I personally don’t like it but sometimes you need to get involve to it because if you never try it then how you can find somebody that you like. Most girls like to show that they are hard catch and because of that they put first step and doesn’t matter how much they like men they need a proof. According to reality, most social girls get approach every week so they have a lot of experience of different men moves. After while they come up with a solution to filter some of regular men and focus on specific one and those games are some part of their filtering and probably they need it to not do same mistake with men over and over again. Some of typical girlish games are as follow:
Girls are answering your call fast to make it hot and then no answering for while to make it cold to check your reaction and come up with an answer for important question, “why that man is interesting to her?”
Girls start looking at your eyes and your body language and ask simple question that they already know the answer or they can guess it to find “that man is a person who telling truth or not”
Girls say no; when you give them choice to choose because they don’t want to be responsible for doing things wrong such as “are you coming to movie with me?”
Girls say yes; when they find out men are loosing their interest because girls want to meet ideal person and when guy is cooling down they feel safer with him such as “I’m going to dinner with some friends and their friends do want to come?”
Girls usually make lame excuse to check men to see “how desperate men are? Or how much men fight for them?”
And many other games that are out of my time to explain. Now a new question is coming up; do we think these games and filtering would help us? Big problem about the filtering people is that two kinds of people are passing those filters. First is our favorite match and second is professional serial dater and as you can see those two persons are really different and they will affect your life differently, which makes you either happy or sad. In bottom line, what we should do about it? Should we practice to prepare for those games and get involve in many relation to find our final match – or - Should be honest and looking forward to someday that somebody show up in our life and makes us happy person in the world?
written by Mohammad Hosseini

Reality

من از وقتی یادم هست چه تو خانه و چه تو محل تحصیل همیشه سخن از این بود که باید آدم تا جای که ممکن است رشد اجتماعی بکند و به قول معروف برای خودکش کسی بشود اما این کسی شدن یعنی چی؟ فکر می کنم بزرگترین مشکل جامعه بشری خصوصا جوامع سنتی این هست که یکسری ایدآل گرای در این جوامع دیده می شود که کار علمی زیادی روی آن نشده است مثلا اگر شما هر کتاب ادبی را باز کنید در آن مللو است فرهنگ و آداب اجتماعی است و از آنجا که در هر دهه روی آن کار خاصی صورت نگرفته اصل ماجرا فراموش شده و تنها تصویری از آن باقی مانده که جوابگوی نیاز جامعه مدرن نیست و در دنیای امروز با تمام اثراهای که با خود می اورد ما باید بتوانیم زبان بیان جدیدی برای حفظ ارزشها پیدا کنیم تا انسانها بتوانند با آرامش در کنار هم زندگی کنند. خلاصه همه مردم جامعه می خواهند در زندگی کسی باشند و اما بیشتر آنها نمی دانند که کسی شدن یعنی چه و تنها تلاش می کنند با کپی کردن کارهای دیگران بدون داشتن منطقی قاطع برای آن بیشتر جلب رضایت دیگران را به عمل بیاورند تا نشان دهند که بلاخره کسی شده اند اما حقیقت این است که آنها هم مانند تمام افراد دوروبرشان گیج و مبهوط در زندگی قدم می زنند بدون اینکه تعریف درستی از کارهایشان داشته باشند و دست آخر وقتی حقیقت زندگی به آنها فشار می اورد شروع به انجام دادن کارهای متنوع و بدون هدف می کنند تا خود را در انبوه جامعه مخفی می کنند و تا جای که ممکن است تلاش می کنند تا با تنهای خود تنها نباشند زیرا در آن لحظه است که به پوچی همه چیز پی خواهند برد. پس بدانید زمانی که تنهای برای فردی آزار دهنده است درست زمانی است که ان فرد در خواهد یافت چقدر از حقیقت واقعی زندگی خود فاصله داشته است

آرام چشمهایم را باز می کنم دیگری سقوطی در خود نمی بینم آیا دنیا به پایان رسیده است یا واقعا چیزی به عنوان آرامش در طبیعت وجود دارد

زندگی اینقدر زوایای پیچیده ای دارد که شاید باورتان نشود اگر تمام رنجهای که تا الان داشته اید کنار هم بگذارید قطره ای هم از حقیقت رنج بشری نخواهد بود

همیشه فکر می کردم زندگی خیلی سخت است و زمانی فهمیدم که چقدر زندگی راحتی تا الان داشته ام که لحظه بسیار کوتاهی ازسختی واقعی را با چشم خود دیدم و از آن زمان یاد گرفتم که همیشه باید لبخندی در چهره ام باشد.

هیچگاه از بلندی سقوط کرده اید. تجسم کنید که از ارتفاع بلندی در حال سقوط هستید درست لحظه ای که می خواهید به زمین بخورید و مطمئن هستید زندگی شما پایان خواهد یافت چه حالی دارید. من کسی را می شناسم که در آن لحظه برخورد به زمین روزها زندگی کرده است.

Bus Station

I was waiting in a bus station to go to the work and the bus was already 5 minutes late. I seated on the bench and putted my iPod on and watched people who were walking in windy morning to go to work. In far way cross street, I saw a person with long gray coat and army green cab. The style and the way of his walking were so familiar and he was walking to my direction and staring on the ground. After a minute he passed me without looking up. I couldn’t see his face through the hat except his chin but everything with him was reminding me to somebody that I knew. Finally a crowded bus came and I jumped to it. I passed people to get close to the other door because I didn’t want to get stuck between people when I’m arriving to my station. In next station that man got in the bus too. His cab still covered his face completely. He looked up fast to check inside the bus and I was wondering why he is familiar to me. He started searching his pockets for while, and I was wondering that what is wrong with that guy and how I know him. He looked at me and them he hidden himself behind people. I didn’t know why he did that probably I was staring at him too much. Two stations later and even before the bus was stopping completely, he jumped out fast and ran. Driver with loud sound said to him “you shouldn’t leave the bus from this door” but he was already gone. He ran 30 meters and then stopped and looked back and after that he was staring to the bus and when bus started to move he ran back and said “stop, stop, please stop the bus”. Three stops later I found a free seat and as soon as I got in seat I felt sleep.

After while I opened my eyes and I was seating in the bus station and it seemed that nothing happened. I looked time, oh God; bus was almost 15 minutes late. Probably I felt sleep and I loosed the bus and I should wait for next one. But waiting was difficult, I started walking to next stop I had enough time for next bus. It was so windy and I closed my gray coat bottoms and pushed down my army hat to my face to protect it against the cold wind. I was walking in street and when I was arriving to next station I saw a guy in station he was staring at me. I didn’t know that guy and it was strange. I preferred to continue walking and catch the bus in next station. Directly when I arrived to next station I saw the bus is coming and then I went to the bus and pulled up my cab to see people in bus it was so crowded and between those people I saw same guy in previous station I didn’t like his way of looking and I covered my face again with hat.

I checked my pocket to see if I brought my USB memory, I had presentation today and I saved everything on that USB, but USB wasn’t in my pocket I got a little bit nerves and started looking in my other pocket and then found out probably it was dropped out from my pocked when I felt sleep in the previous station. I was waiting to get out from bus and run to find it before somebody else takes it. I looked to end of bus again that guy was still staring me and I hatted it. I hidden myself behind the people and in next stop I ran out to go and find my USB and the driver said loudly “you shouldn’t leave the bus from this door”. After 30 meters running I suddenly remembered that when I was reaching to my bus card in the bus I had my USB in my hand and probably I dropped it in the bus and I looked back the bus was ready to go and I screamed “stop, stop, please stop the bus”

written by Mohammad Hosseini

What did we learn from ex-relation?

These days most people have a big history of their relations with other people. Let’s look back and see what did we learn from those relations? In old society when two persons meet each other, after while they get involve more and sometimes they ended up married and they lived rest of their life base on that situation. Now most people are afraid to choose because they always think that would be better option for them in future. They go and go and jump from one relation to another and after while they totally get lost in their life and they don’t know what they want anymore. I think having some experience in our life would be good but living whole life to check every details of each single relation is horrible. For most of us, it is a time to stop missing around and look back to the past and see what did happened? Because we should consider this fact that in every new relation we learn something and we loose something else as well, sometimes we learn how to be careful and more passion and in other hand we loose some parts of our truth and belief. It is better to look at the people with the long history of different partner then you will see, most of them closed their feeling and emotion and in some cases they can’t open it because they can’t take a new damage even their mind and body don’t follow them anymore. I actually saw some people when even somebody mention to be engaged they start having breath problem, their skin rash or all other anxiety sign effects come up.

Let’s take it easy for while and look at outside logically to find best solution and always know our best teacher is our past and stop looking to others, let’s look inside and find what do we need and then just do it. Don’t be difficult because by being difficult you will make your life difficult and then you become confuse and as soon as this confusion become a part of your personality then it will be hard to see real life and then you will loose more and more until it puts you in position that nothing will satisfy you anymore.

by Mohammad Hosseini

Common Language

تازگی ها به این نتیجه رسیدم که استفاده کردن یک زبان جدید برای مکالمات روزمره روی فرهنگ فرد فرد انسانها تاثیر می گذارد مثلا فکر کن شما برای مدت زیادی با زبان خارجی با محیط اطرافت ارتباط برقرار می کنی بعد یک مدت می فهمی که کلیه بیانات تو و نوع دیدگاهت حتی در زمانی که به این زبان حرف می زنی متفاوت می شود برای همین تازه یکسری حقایق برای من روشن شد که چرا صحبت کزدن با ادمها به زبان سوم راحتتر است مثلا اگر من با یک ژاپنی به زبان انگلیسی صحبت کنم مکالمه بسیار زیبای خواهیم داشت بدور از چهار چوبهای اجتماعی فرهنگ ژاپن و جدیدا در مورد سوئدی ها هم به همین نتیجه رسیدم و خیلی جالب توجه بود مردم سوئد آدمهای بسته ای هستند نه به اندازه ژاپنی ها ولی کمابیش مشابه آنها ولی وقتی با آنها با زبان دیگری مکالمه می کنی بسیار آدمهای بازتر و اجتماعی تری به نظر می آیند حتی بین خودشان هم می بینی راحتر با هم ارتباط بر قرار می کنند کاش می شد یک زبان مشترک برای همه انسانی ری زمین بود تا بدور ازتمام چهارچوبهای غیر ضروری اجتماعی راحتر مرزها را کنار بزاریم و ارتباطات را بیشتر کنیم

انسانهای متبسم درون نا آرام دارند و با تبسم به دنبال شادی برای همگان هستند چون ارزش شادی را می فهمند و انسانهای عبوس درون تهی دارند و تهی بودنشان را در پس اخمهایشان پنهان می کنند

شادی حقیقتی است که اگر روزی از زندگی بیرون برود تمامی هستی بی مفهوم خواهد بود و حتی گاهی دردناک و رنج اور

روزی که فهمیدی تنها هستی و این حقیقت بزرگ به رشد اجتماعی تو کمک می کند بزرگترین انسان دنیا خواهی بود و اگر این تنهای تو را به ترس وا می دارد نشاندهنده بینش تکامل نیافته است ...

همیشه باور داشتن دیگران در باور داشتن خودمان مخفی است ...

هیچ می دانستید بیشتر جملات گذشتگان زمانی مفهوم پیدا خواهند کرد که ما هم همان شرایط آنها را تجربه کرده باشیم پس اگر سخنی به نظر نا مفهوم میاید به این مفهوم خواهد بود که ما آن را هنوز تجربه نکرده ایم و قابل درک نیست ...

تازه شش ماه هست که فهمیده ام که زندگی بعدهای زشت وزیبای دیگری غیر از این روزمرگی هم دارد و برای من که تجربه بسیار جدیدی ود و گاهی خیلی ترسناک ....

Being Polite

To be polite in different countries or even in different area of a country comes with various rules. I don’t know how and when these rules are established but pretty much clear most people prefer just follow the routine rules and not to be in front of society eyes -as person who ignore the rules and don’t respect them-. Some times I think when is beauty and being good have same meaning in most culture then how being polite is different? I can come up with some example: spit in street in most country is really impolite but in few countries are normal as well as making noise during eating, calling people with first name, leaving room without saying goodbye, shacking hand or saying hello, kissing in first met, eating as guest without asking, looking to people’s eyes when you talking and opposite, jump in middle of conversation, start making conversation with stranger, seating next to people in bus when other seats are available and many others.
Imagine you have international life and you are traveling from one place to another so how much pressure you will get under each society. Always you should wait first to see what other people are doing and then just follow their steps and most difficult part is when they do something that completely is out side of your social life style or believes. And even worse that you should follow them as well, oh God! It likes hell and most the time even you explain for them, this is not a thing that I can do, but they want you to do it anyway.

For being polite to respect people in different culture means destroy your own believe and be unshaped person look like water -which it gets always the shape of jar-. So do you think after that life becomes easier for you or not? Then new question come up “who are you?” Because every body is recognized by his/her shape and if you loose it, there is nothing left to show your structure and personality.

I think the future life style will push people to the direction of being unshaped to make free land for everybody and who know what will come up from deep inside of human being, look like the new strange effects of freedom in the present situation of modern countries; such as the confusion of sex, gender, culture, sentiment, family and a lot of other problems that create many psychology fields in present life style because people start getting far from a person who suppose to be.

Written by Mohammad Hosseini, Paint by Morteza Katuzian

The Dandelion Seed

The Pappus of Dandelion Clock Seed is opened look liked a beautiful umbrella. Since that moment, the Dandelion Seed find out that he can fly with that small umbrella through the wind to where ever he wants; he can’t wait anymore to see every thing. His plant always tells him that he should be patient a little bit like other seeds because if he chooses wrong wind to fly, who knows where he will end up. But the seed is tired of all these conversation and he doesn’t want to become like other Dandelion around the lake. He wants to have more experience and see all things that none of those Dandelions saw before. He is silent during day and doesn’t talk too much, just staring to East and waiting for Sunrise.

He was born in the corner of forest and near the small lake and he was surrounded by a lot of tall trees. The early morning is his only happy time when Sun starts to rise then he can touch the sunlight. But most of daytime, the sunlight is blocked by the tall trees, and he hates those trees.

The seed hears a lot of stories about how big and beautiful the earth is and far away there is a land that called it desert which Sun is shining whole day and there are no trees to block the light.

Today the seed has different feeling because last night he decided that what he really wants. A yellow nightingale is flying around the lake and singing. The seed calles the nightingale and asks him about the wind. The bird says: when I was flying in early morning other side of forest I saw many black cloud that were coming to this direction and I think they carry rain and usually before rain here the north wind comes and goes to south. So if you want to see Sun you can fly with that wind. That wind is strong and power full he can carries you to far away from here. But I should tell you something, these wind some time goes so far and end up to desert. No body can live there except Sun and sands.

The seed can’t believe him. He thinks every place with Sun will be paradise and it doesn’t matter if anybody else can live there or not. The day passed and in the afternoon weather becomes windy and cloudy. The seed opens his umbrella, the plant becomes upset and tells him that it is not a time, but he says that he can’t wait anymore and by one move he starts flying fast and wild.

After while traveling, he looks at the wing and asks: How do you become this strong and power full and where are we going?

The wind says: I’m the son of warmth and coldness and the warmness of south is calling me and I should go there to cool the desert. We call it “The Golden Land” because we can fly freely every where and play with sands and touch sunlight and everything is look like gold.

The seed asks: Do you know what will be happened next?

The wind says: Nobody knows because every body goes there never come back. I think they don’t want to come back and they love there.

Seed 8is happy and bright, he can see the lake and forest from this altitude and he also can see the Golden Land in far away. The seed and wind are flowing whole night until morning. In the morning the seed find himself in the middle of huge golden land. There is nothing except Sun and sands as the wind told him before. The wind is becoming slow and slow and the seed is getting closer to the land. Sun is shining and makes the wind weaker and weaker until the wind totally is stopped and the seed is caught between two red stones. In the shadow of those stone, the seed can’t see Sun again and he becomes upset. The seed asks the stones: could you please move a little bit I want to see Sun?

Both stones start laughing and then tell the seed: we can’t move. We stock here from many years ago and nobody can escape from this desert.

The seed says: then how can I see Sun?

They say: you should wait for another wind to take you out of here.

Time comes and goes fast and week after week but there is no wind except some light breezes and they weren’t strong enough to take away the seed. After many days the seed lost his umbrella and that means he lost a chance of moving and flying. Week later of loosing umbrella, the seed hears some noises belong to a caravan of people who are crossing desert. They come closer and hours they arrive near the stones and start to make a camp around those stones. One of those people has a huge water jug and he puts it in the shod of two stones to keep it safe and cold -directly above the seed-. The wall of jug is wet and cold and the seed starts feeling something new that never had before. Something inside the seed starts growing and that feel is enjoyable, natural, lovely, fresh and kind of reborn. In the next morning the caravan pack every thing and move, but they forget to bring the jug. The seed is grown fast by water inside the jug and now he has some roots and those roots can get inside the wall of jug and the seed feels so alive and every day his roots get deeper and deeper inside the jug. After several days the seed is became a grown plant and he is still growing ad becoming taller and bigger until he passes the stones and even becomes taller than them, and now he can see Sun again. The combination of Sun and the water inside the jug gives him energy, happiness, power, etc.

The week after that, the water is finished and the jug hasn’t freshness anymore and becomes completely dry, hard and painful. Since that the plant starts to scare and he can’t enjoy Sun, he can’t move and grow either. In fact, the light of Sun increases the heat and makes every thing dry faster. The plant is feeling alone, he remembers his own childhood plant and now he can understand what that plant was saying. The branches of plant are drying one by one and he is loosing his flexibility. He doesn’t like Sun any more he doesn’t like that Golden Land or any of those shiny sands. He knows his life is almost over and he isn’t even grown up enough to have his own seeds.

One day morning, the strong wind comes to that area and a small happy seed traveles with that wind. That seed is stocked between those stone in the same way. The plant looks at the seed and for moment he feels useful and starts to tell the whole story for the new seed. Then he helps the seed to get out of there and tells him that he should get faraway as much as he can to the other green land. The plant uses whole his power to pick up the seed with his leafs and put it over the head of stones then the new seed can fly again with next wind. The plant looses most of his leafs to do this import for the new seed but he is happy because at least for one moment in his life he does something useful to puts his memory in the whole universe. Next day the new strong wind comes and brings the new seed with himself and promises the plant that he will take care of it. The new seed is going far and far and becomes invisible and after that the last leaf of plant is fallen down and his life becomes over … Written by Mohammad Hosseini

The Last Weekend

Today is a sunny Sunday with some cool breezes outside and good time to get some sunlight and release the hangover effects of last night. I pack some sandwiches, fruits, some drink, a book and life magazine, and I’m walking to Lund Public Park. I really like this park with those colorful flowers, butterfly and nice sound’s of birds. The park is full of people most of them are the students of Lund University and everybody seated on a corner of green graces and took tier shirt off to enjoy sun more. I think I’m going to keep my shirt on because I’m brown enough and I really don’t want to get dark brown, last time I did it, it wasn’t look good and took me a month to get read of it.
The smell of tree and flowers are incredible and I’m sorry for those poor people who have allergy to this beauty. After ten minutes walking I find a place to seat and it was more difficult than it seems. Every 20 meters somebody lying down and most of them need a little bit privacy to feel more relax about being half naked under the sun. Finally I find my place in the edge of one tree’s shadow. I spread my linen and take out the sandwiches and drinks. I start eating lunch slowly. The lovely weather makes it feel, twice enjoyable. I look at people most of them are eating and interesting part in Sweden is that you can buy a small recyclable BBQ set with low price and some sausages or even tomatoes and have nice fresh meal. - Most young people are already doing it- After lunch I lay down to read the book – The Zahir by Paulo Coelho – as long as I remember Paulo Coelho became famous some years ago and most of my friend were exciting about his books and because of that partiality, I never read them because everybody was talking about them and that was bothering me. Now I think it’s a time to see why most people were interested to those books at that time and good part is I can buy those books with lowest price right now. After reading ten pages I feel, kind of like it. During reading it seems he is talking to me, face to face, and most slangs, he used, are funny, like the part that her wife told him “Few hotels are in Paris where customers are treated like guests rather than homeless people in search of shelter.” After reading 20 pages its time to switch to something else that doesn’t need any attention. I replace a book with magazine and start looking in the picture. Most pages show happy smiley family in beautiful house and cloths to present urban life style. I always wonder that those families in magazine exist in real life too. Everything in the pictures is perfect, clean, colorful, healthy and organize. Probably we need those shiny advertisings to give us the aim for going forward and believing somehow and somewhere we will be one of those families. After 10 minute I get tired of watching the perfect life in the paper so it’s time to lay back and listen to music. I like the mixed combination of different music. Recently I listen to the Old Classic, Asian Folk, Persian Traditional, English Pop and Electronic Dance Club music in the same time. The best way is to put your mp3 player in shuffle mode and leave there. I just find something interesting about music. My favorite music has three general categories, first group is those that are usually refreshing my past memories, second group is those that are getting match easily with my dreams, third group is those that actually have deep art and feel behind them to touch my soul. I almost listen to 12 tracks and I think I should go back home, there are a lot of cleaning responsibilities left for me in my apartment that I should take care of them and there is no time for doing them until next weekend. I think other people have same feel most of them prepare to leave. Now I can call today as weekend and it was actually healthy one.
Written by Mohammad Hosseini

Modern Society

I was walking whole night and wondering, “what is left in my life that I should take care of it and what do I really need for my next social step? Is that, anything I do, making any sense?” I don’t know, except that being healthy, what is really left? As long as I can remember everything we have or we want, is other people request, which the society teach us to be part of our request too. But it is not true and never is going to be. Let’s forget everything we learned as being good or bad and let’s look back one more time and see what’s happened to our life. You want to be best employee, student, worker or what ever you do. Aren’t those mean you should be good to make benefit for others because all of them make sense when somebody else is involve in your life. So now question is changed, can you live alone and what is frightening about loneliness? Is it a tricky question? All of us know that the being alone is quite scary and most people can even think about it. They always need to be surrounded with others. And this fact makes them to start getting married, born child, hanging out with friend and relation and always making new plan to get more involve in the society. Now we go to next question, what is wrong to be alone? If you can prepare to live the outside of society and have less touch with people that makes you freak or brave. You see even questioning of it not easy. I totally can see the future with many complicated rules to make people survive in their life. And this is part of their punishment for being afraid of loneliness, which increasing every year and we will call those rules Modern Society as we do it right now. Written by Mohammad Hosseini

How society can effect people

Yesterday with two other friends we talked about our childhood life style. One of them is Paulo from north part of Rio de Janeiro city in Brazil and other is Tim from Hannover City in Germany. They grew up with completely different life style. Paulo told me that in his neighborhood at least one person per week was killed by gun around 1982 to 1990, which it was most critical age for him to get effect by society. He also said sometime their family were fight for their life, and the mugging, drug-traffic, gun shooting, abusing kids and rapping were every where. He learned how to take care of himself since 7 years old and he was mugged several times by different street gang and he saw actual shooting and murder in street. His family move from Rio to San Paulo when he was 18 years old and then his family life became safe and stable.

Tim’s story was totally different. He grew up in safest area in city that most people in his neighborhood were educated and he never actually had real fight and he never even saw it before age 15. Most horrible time he ever had was a punishment that he got in school for running in the hall or jumping from wall.

I was thinking whole day after this conversation about the effects of society on people. Paulo has really quiet personality, kind, funny, flexible, understanding, strong, social smart, reasonable, forgives you easy, helps you most the time, no complain, sometimes not on time, social, simple out side, complicated inside, easy worker and completely grown up. Tim has unique character and he has his own idea for every thing, always busy even seems he doesn’t do anything, becomes upset fast, takes time to forget you, picky, respectful, polite, math smart, always follow the rules, lives in surface, honest, dependent, family guy, little isolated, not good talk but good listen, serious, on time, complicated out side, simple inside, little childish behavior and hard worker.

Both of them are good researchers and nice coworker. I think it is good to consider these examples and start to know ourselves better. And learn how to pick up the good part of thing in society and educate the other lake part that society can’t give it to us. Written by Mohammad Hosseini

The breaking heart in modern life

In the modern life most people are taking care of their own life and fighting hard to survive in the cruel society. This kind of persist has old history and human being have solved some part of it but still you can see very much left behind to take care of. Modern life style gives people more freedom to do what ever they want and makes them able to examine themselves in the different ways. The problem is, the education of the meaning of being free is always behind the people’s freedom and develops itself by people’s mistakes slowly. Imagine that you live in the city with huge opportunities to select who ever you want in your life. Then you will surround yourself with the small community of people that you like. After while this small community starts to show it’s other side and this is because the nothing is designed perfectly for your situation. You like your life then you will decide to move on and go to select new people in new community because life is short and you deserve to have fun. In your next choice you will find the same problem with the same cause but you learn this fact that there is possibility that life will not follow as you are expecting it. The time goes and you do same routine again and again and in the end you find out that you gave away very much of your time, energy, humanity, emotion, morality, purity, etc to find your ideal life. If you get in this point then you will have two choices. First, stick with rule that you already believe and live as the way you always lived. Second, try to ignore some parts of your needs and put one step for other people requests to make it work. In the first choice you will always feel alone and left behind and in the second choice you always feel unsatisfied. I think for being alone and in love with life, you should be really aware of your needs and wise. The most people can’t do it. But the second condition is much easier and more trustable and even you are wise enough that makes it more enjoyable at same time.
Now it’s time to ask what is the breaking heart part in this conversation. The breaking heart is most damage that every body can cause or get in the relationship. Having more experience probably gives you more knowledge but in the same time cost you more. And wisdom is something else and doesn’t have any thing to do with the knowledge. Nobody wants a damaged emotional society and for that we need to be wiser and less selfish. I know few people that had some unsuccessful relations and because of deep damage, they stop to even think about new relation. In most case their partner was confuse, injured from past relation or inexperienced.
Let’s start to open our heart and accept whole facts of life and swim in the society with pure human being and honesty. Let’s show ourselves they whey we are and increase our wisdom and ignore some selfishness to create better community and give other people a chance to have a life with less paint and suffering in it. And believe this fact that all human being are made in same way and any pain for others will be pain for us in different time and place. Let’s to be in love with life and know that other people are part of same life.

Written by Mohammad Hosseini, Paint by George Hunt